The hospital it’s where you go in sick and come out healthy or is it? Im going to tell you how it happened. When I realised hospitals don’t make you better they make you worse.
As I walked in the door of King’s College Hospital it felt strange. There was no one there. I figured I was early , but it was midday, normally the busiest time of the day. As I wandered around the abandoned hospital, i came across a room . A room that was not usally there. I approached the door, my hand held out, just about to touch the handle. Bang! The lights go out. I feel hands grab, cluthching on to me with me with unbelivable strength. I don’t remember much of what happened next.
All I knew was that there was something in that room.
As my eyes slowly opened Dazed and a blur, my head feeling numb. I began to sit up and it was then that I realised hospitals don’t make you better they make you worse.
Once my vision was back to normal, I bagan to walk around this massive room, It was then that I looked up. It was like a morgue, rows and rows, stacks and stacks of people just lying there.
Why where they there? I asked my self. I started to do some investigating and what I found was incredble but unbelieveable.
Why? How? I began to look for a way out but when i got back to the place where i entered the door was no longer there. I kept saying to my self that I took a wrong turn or something, but that was never the case.
I figuered that I might as well take a closer look into that room. I once again entered the ‘TESTING ROOM’ but this time I walked further and i saw a man with unbelieveble strength. Was that what cluthed me? How was he that strong?
I began to ask myself, am i still in a hospital? It’s then that I started putting all the peices together. The empty hospital, the lights. Lights never fail in a hospital and a hospital is never empty.
I started looking for a way out again. It was then that I found a air vent just above my head. Maybe it led to the main part of the hospital and I could get out. But as soon as I touched it gas rushed out and i must of been knocked out becouse I could’nt remember what happened next.
I once again woke up dazed and a blur, but this time I felt different, i felt weird. I began to sit up and look at the stacks and stacks of people, I started to wonder where they had all come from, my first thought was that they were all dead with it being a hospital.
But it didn’t turn out that way when suddenly they all sat upright at the same time as if they were being controlled by the same brain.
I analysed it and put it all together, all them people must pf been the patients. It was then that i realised that they all were being controlled something but it wasn’t there brain…
They were being controlled by the man in the box, the box that I hadn’t seen before. As soon as he shouted stand up! we all stood up including myself…
I then realised we had all been cloned, I don’t know what for and i still don’t. I never felt normal after that day. I still don’t.
February 27, 2015 at 4:56 pm
Hi Jordan
Couple of things:
Capital letter for “I” every time!
Don’t indent for a new paragraph if you leave a line. Just go to a new line and that’s it.
Lines like “I feel hands grab, cluthching on to me with me with unbelivable strength” are excellent!
There are some very good paradoxical parts! Particularly when you say that “hospitals make you worse”.
Have a look back through and check for technical errors, tidying it up a bit.
March 6, 2015 at 3:55 pm
Hi Jordan, Great mystery story and a really shocking twist, I was glued to the screen whilst reading your mystery story.
Good describing words to provide sufficient information about the setting. I ended up questioning my self for a good few minutes
Great Story!
Keep It Up!
March 23, 2015 at 9:12 am
Muhsin
Good work, these are excellent comments.
March 23, 2015 at 9:33 am
Jordan
You haven’t changed this yet.